I'm grateful for this opportunity to clear up one of many misconceptions of life:

There was a young, male, adoptee at an adoption search and support group meeting.  He proclaimed that if his adoptive parents don't want him to search for his first parents, he won't search, because his adoptive parents made him who he is today.  He is one of the fortunate adopted persons in that he feels comfortable enough to ask his adoptive parents that, sometimes, painful question, "Do you mind if I search for my first parents?"  So, they did something right!  Many adoptees don't have that luxury; they search for relatives in secret.  They must continue in adulthood to protect their ADULT PARENTS, yet they are the "CHILDREN."  They fear being "abandoned" a second time.  They don't ask questions about their past, their beginnings.  They fear hurting their adoptive parents.  They fear being disloyal.  Children clearly "get it."  They clearly get the messages about what is acceptable and unacceptable within the family dynamics.  They clearly know what they're supposed to be doing within a family, and what is off limits.  When secrecy abounds, too often adoptees are made handicapped amputees!  

I was doing my research, and I thought, "Wow, who is this guy?  A Senator?"

So, I asked him, and he replied, "I'm a D. J."

I asked, "What radio station do you work for!?"  I thought, perhaps, he's another Rush Limbaugh!

He replied, "I don't.  I do parties."

By him saying that his adoptive parents made him who he is today clearly illustrates to me that he is young and "stupid" (No offense intended - I was young once - but I think young people are "stupid" because they haven't lived life, yet.  I include myself - I was extremely "stupid" in my younger days!  It's really uncanny how intelligent we become in our more later years!), damaged, and uneducated about adoption and the psychology of being human.

My girlfriend said that he may have meant that his adoptive parents made him the person (inside) he is today.

That all sounds well, and good, and interesting, but his first parents gave him:

• his outward appearance
• his stature
• his features
• his athletic ability
• his musical ability
• his sexual prowess
• his genes
• his ability to procreate
• his intelligence
• his artistic ability
• his personality
• his gift of gab
• his hearing
• his vision
• his emotions
• his perception
• and more

His adoptive parents:

• sent him to school (Teachers did the teaching.)
• fed and clothed him (Food and clothes don't make a person.)
• took him to the doctor 
• made him feel like he's disloyal if he searches for his ancestry
• OK - I'll even give him that they loved somebody else's child.  (His first family was cheated out of the opportunity to love him because they were tricked out of their child by a judging people, a judging society, like they are judging Nadya Suleman today!  

So, I ask you:  Who made who!?

Personally, I believe the adopted person has TWO SETS OF PARENTS!!!

So, kindly, even as much as it repulses you (plural), give first parents and their lost children some respect!

                                                Expect Miracles!