Exchanging Spit in the Days of H1N1 on "The View"
The Incompetency Is Herculean! (And Ubiquitous!)
With the threat of the virulent H1N1 flu, and other formidable and contagious diseases, such as, herpes... spreading like wildfire, we witnessed the following grotesque and shocking anomaly on television. Over 22 million Americans have been sick from the H1N1 flu since April of 2009.
On November 13, 2009, The View was celebrating Whoopi Goldberg's 54th birthday. Reality TV personality, Duff Goldman of Ace of Cakes, wheeled out the humungous birthday cake and proceeded to slice and dispense pieces of it to the gleeful onlookers like Whoopi, Joy Behar, Sherri Shepherd.... I believe Stephen King also participated. What occurred in-between the slice and the handout was the repulsive drawback. Mr. Goldman licked his fingers vigorously or rigorously (With my far-reaching vocabulary, I have a tough time choosing my words; I want to give them all a chance.). Mr. Goldman didn't only do it two, or three, times; he did it many times. He really got in there and reveled in his saliva. And not just one lick after each handout, but several licks after each cut of the cake, 'round and 'round, entire fingers of both hands sliding, slithering, one at a time, into his mouth and gliding out again, and again, and noone said a word, not even humor or friendly sarcasm from the Goldberg camp. He was up to his elbows in spit! My mouth was agape! Intermittently, I was exclaiming (or do you like the word, "vociferating"?) into the television or to whosoever was within earshot, "HE BETTER NOT DO IT AGAIN?" and he did. I almost puked! In fact, I grimace as I write this post!
Undoubtedly, the cake was passed around to SOMEONE after the show; it was huge. We all know how talk-show hosts like to pass around items to the audience. As I pictured the girls, and guests, producers, of The View generously offering pieces of the above tainted cake to them, my mind bolted back to the episode of Seinfeld during which the toothbrush of Jerry's girlfriend accidentally fell into the toilet. Before he was able to inform her that the toothbrush had fallen into the toilet, she was already brushing her teeth with it. (Gulp!) Afterward, she attempted several times to kiss Jerry Seinfeld and was baffled by his constant tightlipped grimacing, squirming, and squinching... shaking his head, "No," each time she tried to kiss him. The staccato manner in which he shook his head and torso was the comedy.
I envision members of the audience emulating Seinfeld, shaking their heads, "Thanks, but no thanks," as employees of The View munificently attempt to foist slices of the tainted cake onto them.
Makes me wonder what Mr. Goldman does behind closed doors? I cannot recall the last time I saw anyone lick his, or her, fingers, much less a television personality. (Good thing most little kids were in school; albeit, many, many impressionable tykes were watching with Mommy.) Whoopi's birthday celebration was not a comedy. The whole stomach-churning scenario doesn't bode well for the titans of The View! What if we were all that careless!? (Dare I say "uncouth"?) Surely the number of H1N1 flu cases, for instance, would rise catastrophically! (I have plenty of adverbs vying to be at the head of the previous sentence. Drat!)
I am continually amazed that anything EVER gets done appropriately anywhere, including, in government, business, academia, hospitals, eateries.... I'm realizing what a real and rare feat it truly is - when something gets done without a hitch. With the preponderance of inadequacy and incompetency, I marvel that our society actually functions as well as it does. It's uncanny! (Or, do you like, "It's mysterious!"?) I conjecture it is the price we pay for being human (sloppy). Personally, though, I wasn't raised that way (to be human)!
To combat ubiquitous incompetency, my humble opinion is: LIVE SMARTLY! Be your own advocate! Follow your own intuition!
With the threat of the virulent H1N1 flu, and other formidable and contagious diseases, such as, herpes... spreading like wildfire, we witnessed the following grotesque and shocking anomaly on television. Over 22 million Americans have been sick from the H1N1 flu since April of 2009.
On November 13, 2009, The View was celebrating Whoopi Goldberg's 54th birthday. Reality TV personality, Duff Goldman of Ace of Cakes, wheeled out the humungous birthday cake and proceeded to slice and dispense pieces of it to the gleeful onlookers like Whoopi, Joy Behar, Sherri Shepherd.... I believe Stephen King also participated. What occurred in-between the slice and the handout was the repulsive drawback. Mr. Goldman licked his fingers vigorously or rigorously (With my far-reaching vocabulary, I have a tough time choosing my words; I want to give them all a chance.). Mr. Goldman didn't only do it two, or three, times; he did it many times. He really got in there and reveled in his saliva. And not just one lick after each handout, but several licks after each cut of the cake, 'round and 'round, entire fingers of both hands sliding, slithering, one at a time, into his mouth and gliding out again, and again, and noone said a word, not even humor or friendly sarcasm from the Goldberg camp. He was up to his elbows in spit! My mouth was agape! Intermittently, I was exclaiming (or do you like the word, "vociferating"?) into the television or to whosoever was within earshot, "HE BETTER NOT DO IT AGAIN?" and he did. I almost puked! In fact, I grimace as I write this post!
Undoubtedly, the cake was passed around to SOMEONE after the show; it was huge. We all know how talk-show hosts like to pass around items to the audience. As I pictured the girls, and guests, producers, of The View generously offering pieces of the above tainted cake to them, my mind bolted back to the episode of Seinfeld during which the toothbrush of Jerry's girlfriend accidentally fell into the toilet. Before he was able to inform her that the toothbrush had fallen into the toilet, she was already brushing her teeth with it. (Gulp!) Afterward, she attempted several times to kiss Jerry Seinfeld and was baffled by his constant tightlipped grimacing, squirming, and squinching... shaking his head, "No," each time she tried to kiss him. The staccato manner in which he shook his head and torso was the comedy.
I envision members of the audience emulating Seinfeld, shaking their heads, "Thanks, but no thanks," as employees of The View munificently attempt to foist slices of the tainted cake onto them.
Makes me wonder what Mr. Goldman does behind closed doors? I cannot recall the last time I saw anyone lick his, or her, fingers, much less a television personality. (Good thing most little kids were in school; albeit, many, many impressionable tykes were watching with Mommy.) Whoopi's birthday celebration was not a comedy. The whole stomach-churning scenario doesn't bode well for the titans of The View! What if we were all that careless!? (Dare I say "uncouth"?) Surely the number of H1N1 flu cases, for instance, would rise catastrophically! (I have plenty of adverbs vying to be at the head of the previous sentence. Drat!)
I am continually amazed that anything EVER gets done appropriately anywhere, including, in government, business, academia, hospitals, eateries.... I'm realizing what a real and rare feat it truly is - when something gets done without a hitch. With the preponderance of inadequacy and incompetency, I marvel that our society actually functions as well as it does. It's uncanny! (Or, do you like, "It's mysterious!"?) I conjecture it is the price we pay for being human (sloppy). Personally, though, I wasn't raised that way (to be human)!
To combat ubiquitous incompetency, my humble opinion is: LIVE SMARTLY! Be your own advocate! Follow your own intuition!
Posted by Caleigh Brooks at 11/14/2009 9:30 PM 
Categories: Celebrity
Tags: herpes H1N1 Joy Behar The View Duff Goldman Sherri Shepherd Jerry Seinfeld Ace of Cakes Whoopi Goldberg
Categories: Celebrity
Tags: herpes H1N1 Joy Behar The View Duff Goldman Sherri Shepherd Jerry Seinfeld Ace of Cakes Whoopi Goldberg
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